peace-

"My Peace it is which gives quietness and assurance forever. My Peace that flows as some calm river through the dry land of life. That causes trees and flowers of life to spring fourth and to yield abundantly. 

Success is the result of work done in peace. Only so can work yield its increase. Let there be no hurry in your plans. You live not in time but in Eternity. It is in the unseen that your life-future is being planned.

Abide in Me, and I in you, so shall you bring forth much fruit. Be calm, assured, at rest. Love, not rush. Peace, not unrest. Nothing fitful. All effectual. Sown in Prayer, watered by Trust, bearing flower and fruit in Joy. I love you." - God Calling, September 16th 2012

This was the God Calling devotion for today... and it couldn't have been more perfect. 

These past few days have been really hard for me and a lot of people that I love.

Earlier, I had been on my knees crying out to God... and when I was done, I read this... 

and God gave me the most surreal peace. 

Not the 'hey, it's gonna get easier and things will be great now cause I'm giving it to God' kind. Unfortunately, no. But it was peace... the kind that just breaks you, and hurts really bad, but in the gentlest of ways. The kind that makes you realize that He really does know the end of from the beginning... and everything in between. The kind that humbles you & leaves you kind of numb in awe. The kind that makes you get just how big and capable our God really is. He is and always will be our biggest fan, and really is one hundred and fifty percent in control of everything.

I know this is only the beginning, and it already hurts... and I know it's going to get so much worse.

And there are gonna be days where I'll want to just give up because it's too hard.

But I won't. I can't. I don't think God would let me even if I wanted to.

Because I know He loves me more than anyone else could ever dream of... and He won't leave me.

And yeah, He's just as crazy about you... and will never leave you.

so note to self: :) 

Hold fast to Jesus. 

And never hold onto anything tighter than you're holding onto Him.
Which is super hard, I know... and usually involves a lot of sacrifices & pain.
But I believe with all my heart that you'll be blessed beyond your wildest dreams for it... just gotta keep holding on through the bad times as well as the good.

 ^"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

"Peace isn't the absence of troubles, but the presence of Christ"

And that really does make all the difference. 

You guys, I have no idea what the future holds. I'd like to think I do... and sometimes I really wish I did.
But... I do know who holds the future.
And really, I think that's all we need.
That assurance... that hope.